


Trolling Chuuya

by addicted_2_manga



Series: The Port Mafia's Ultimate Combat Squad [1]
Category: Servamp (Anime & Manga), Tokyo Ghoul, 文豪ストレイドッグス | Bungou Stray Dogs
Genre: Akutagawa noped right on outta there, Akutagawa was smart, Crossover, Drabble, Gen, Headcanon, Juuzou is hardly innocent in the plot against Chuuya, Port mafia, Silly shenanigans, Tsurugi and Dazai are terrible, poor chuuya, this is what the Port Mafia's main combat squad gets up to when they're not on a mission
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-11
Updated: 2018-08-11
Packaged: 2019-06-25 15:30:21
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15643644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/addicted_2_manga/pseuds/addicted_2_manga
Summary: A very silly short inspired by a friend's crossover fanart.She showed me a drawing of Tsurugi dressed in ADA Dazai's clothes.I already had a fully-fleshed out headcanon where Tsurugi Kamiya and Juuzou Suzuya are in the Port Mafia (Dark Era).Can you say "practice writing character interactions"?





	Trolling Chuuya

**Author's Note:**

> I love crossovers. It's hard to resist when you see certain parallels between stories or characters. I have a pet crossover concerning the Port Mafia. I wondered what it would be like if my favourite characters from Tokyo Ghoul and Servamp- Juuzou and Tsurugi- were recruited. The Port Mafia would basically rule Japan. Mori would be unstoppable with that team under his orders. I went all out with this, plotting out how they would all interact as individuals and how they'd work together as a team, what mori would see as their individual strengths and weakness. I put a lot of effort into this headcanon. So, it's time to do something with it. Like write stories. Please enjoy!

Having caught sight of each other, Dazai and Kamiya quickened their pace, with matching grins spreading across their faces. They came just short of crashing into each other and, each throwing an arm over the other’s shoulder, shouted “ohayō gozaimasu” in unison. Their morning ritual concluded, they released each other and began walking in step down the hall. Dazai gave his friend a sidelong gaze, from top to bottom.  
“Tsu-san. You and I are about the same size.” He stated thoughtfully.  
“Yes?” Kamiya stopped and regarded his junior curiously. Dazai turned towards him and leaned in conspiratorially.  
“Wanna mess with Chūya?” An impish grin snaked across Kamiya’s face, to answer the one Dazai wore.  
“Always.”  
Dazai made a gesture for his colleague to follow him. “We’ll need Suzuya’s help.” He said as he began walking. “Do you know if he’s here yet?”  
“We can check the longue.” Kamiya suggested as he fell back into step with Dazai.

 

It was a few hours later when the ill-fated Mafioso walked into headquarters. He’d barely had time to hang his coat up on the rack when Suzuya rushed up to him.  
“Suzuya. Ohayō.” Chūya greeted him warmly as he hung his coat.  
“Ohayō!” Suzuya returned the greeting cheerfully before tilting his head to look at the other hesitantly. “Anō.” He tapped the tips of his fingers together, as if he was unsure how to proceed. Chūya’s brow furrowed and he frowned nervously.  
“What’s wrong, Suzuya?”  
“Oh, nothing.” He brushed off the worry with an ambiguous grin. “Just, Dazai-san wants to see you in his office immediately.” Chūya’s face instantly soured. That was the last thing he wanted to hear at any time of day, let alone first thing upon coming in to the office. He nodded glumly at his white-haired teammate and turned to head down the hall, grumbling “it’s too early for this” as he went. 

 

He knocked harshly before letting himself into Dazai’s office.  
“What is it, Mackerel?” Chuuya huffed as he lifted his head to glare at the executive impatiently. His face contorted wildly for a moment before settling into an expression of utter surprise and confusion. The teen sitting behind the ornate, mahogany desk, with his elbows on the desktop, chin resting on intertwined fingers, and an expectant smirk playing across his lips was not his combat partner.  
“Kamiya?!” Chūya couldn’t believe the sight before him as he approached the desk to get a closer look. Not only was Kamiya wearing Dazai’s clothes, they’d even properly accessorized. “You shouldn’t waste resources like that.” He remarked flatly. “Those bandages aren’t free.”  
“Whatever do you mean, Hatrack?” The imposter asked in the best Dazai-esque tone he could manage. “I called you in here to discuss our next mission.”  
“Ha ha, Bootlicker. Stop wasting my time.” Chūya spat out. He made to leave, only to find the doorway blocked by a leering Dazai. Kamiya’s white, cloak-like jacket billowed behind him as Dazai strode in with a flourish. Chūya slapped a gloved hand over his eyes, muttering “God, these idiots. What fresh hell is this?” under his breath as he struggled to keep his composure.  
“Chū-chaaaaan” Dazai exclaimed flirtatiously as he threw himself at the redhead.  
Akutagawa passed in the hall just then. Wondering what the commotion was, he poked his head in curiously. Being the only one to notice the boy, Kamiya grinned and waved casually from his seat behind Dazai’s desk. Wide-eyed, the youngest member of the squad looked from him to Dazai, who was still trying to wrap his arms around a furious Chūya’s neck. With one emphatic shake of his head, Akutagawa pulled back out of the doorway, turned on his heel, and walked briskly back down the way he’d come.  
Moments later, Dazai came hurtling backwards out through the doorway, making a loud “thunk” as he came to a stop against the opposite wall. Dazed from the impact, he barely had enough time to roll out of the way before Kamiya exited his office in much the same fashion. Chūya was last to enter the hallway. Rubbing his hands together as if he were washing them, he glared down at his colleagues.  
“Next time, I’ll be sure to put some extra gravity behind it.” He straightened his clothes, adjusted his hat, and stormed off down the hallway, muttering “shitty Dazai and fucking Kamiya.”  
Wincing and rubbing their sore muscles, the tricksters faced each other and offered smirks of silent agreement; it had been worth it.


End file.
